What is Pick Me Culture?

Pick-meism is a Twitter-based concept that encapsulates all the different complexities surrounding the condescending portrayal of women. This culture is a very accurate manifestation of “respectability politics” that is both executed and experienced by women exclusively.

Examples of pick-me culture.

You might have heard or even said the following phrases without ever realizing how harmful these narratives are. For example, “I’m not like other girls” or “I only have guy friends because girls are full of drama.” Anything that speaks against your own to try and set yourself apart from them perpetuates a very detrimental narrative of women.

Anything ranging from victim-blaming, shaming other women for their choices and never holding men accountable for their actions all in the name of attempting to be more appealing than other women to men is classified as Pick-me Culture. If you still haven’t fully grasped the idea of a “Pick-me” see “TweetLikeAPickMe” on Twitter. It puts into perspective the ideas that are perpetuated by women to oppress other women.

Why is Pick-Me Culture dangerous?

It insinuates that for a woman to be lovable and accepted (be it by a man or other women) she has to go above and beyond the limits of any other normal human being in comparison to men who just have to do the bare minimum and exist. It’s extremely problematic to think like this because it makes it seem as if women, by nature, are inherently flawed in some type of way and need to compensate for being a woman. Therefore this culture is a cycle of women putting other women to shame because of their own deeply rooted inferiority complexes.

Unlearning Pick-meism.

Now that you have an idea of Pick-meism, unlearn it. You can start off by acknowledging that you can express yourself without humiliating and invalidating other women. Not everything is a competition and you don’t have to live up to unrealistic expectations to appeal to men.

Until next time,


Vision Tobias

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About Afterbreak Magazine

Afterbreak Magazine is a Namibian Youth Magazine that strives to be the leading young adult platform that educates, empowers and entertains the Namibian youth to form a community of growth.



November 2020