How not to go wrong when you decide to go long…
When we think of Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) we often think of couples that are not living in the same town and have to carry their relationship, oftentimes, through the phone. Now while that’s not far from the reality, you might be surprised to know that LDRs have a higher chance at succeeding than their geographically close counterparts.
Although every relationship is different from one to the next, below is a list of do’s to ensure your LDR is not gonna drown any time soon:
- prioritize different schedules well – make sure you know what time your SO is available, to not clash.
- make their presence felt – keep something they gifted you in the open so that you think of them every time you see it.
- quality over quantity – when communicating, make sure you mean what you say regardless of how little you speak
- pay attention to the minutiae – who talk to on their lunch break, what they’ve said about the guy that has a desk in front of them and chews really loudly, or perhaps they mentioned painting their room a different colour. The minor details they share will feel like you’re still being included in their daily activities.
- trust is your new companion – are you being the same person you are worthy of keeping?
- set your terms – how often are you seeing one another? Are you completely monogamous or may they have an occasional fling? would you want to know about it, then?
- spend time together apart – listen to the same podcast or Netflix a movie at the same time
- and finally, sext! – if you feel like letting them know how much you crave for them, let them know. Just please don’t send nudes. It’s a standard life rule.
“LDRs have a higher chance at succeeding than their geographically close counterparts.”Gina Kandanga
And now that we went through the do’s, here are some red flags to spot and call out as soon as possible:
- they make excuses not to talk – “sorry my phone died” “sorry my cat is not feeling well” “sorry my roommate’s lizard is feeling sick” “let me close the fridge, I’ll call you right back”
- your relationship feels different – you know that sick feeling in your gut? trust it.
- they’re never available – last time they cut the Saturday evening call because their roommate had a crisis. But now their roommate has a crisis every Saturday?
- you don’t know any of their close friends – do you know who they ride with in the morning on their way to school or are they keeping it from you? why do you think they don’t want you to know?
- your communication schedule has gone downhill – when you’re free, they’re busy. When you’re busy, they’re free.
- changes in the level of interest and desire to connect – Oh no, honey. It’s not looking good right now.
- If there’s no excitement – do you look forward to seeing them? or calling them? Is it mutual?
So, although you will have some challenges with keeping the spark in your LDR alive, you can always disprove the phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind’. Go out there with a new surge of energy and make sure you are in the group of people with successful LDRs.
Til next time, x